Vitality Stories

Lesson #6

You‘re never too old for field trips, trikes, and milkshakes

~

Emotional eating and rusted trikes

I recently visited my mother in Carson City, Nevada. I hadn’t been there in almost two years, but after moving from the east coast and living on the road for the past four months, the road, actually a plane, landed me in Northern Nevada.

Thanks to technology, I’d been in touch with my mom on a regular basis, but now that I was going to be in town for 10 days, I had a laundry list of things to help her with in an effort to give my local siblings ‘serving on the ground’ temporary respite from meeting Mom’s needs. I’d be doing her shopping, cleaning, defrosting her dormitory freezer…you get the picture.

I was also in town to see friends and take my first headshots, but my mom was anxious to see me and I have the cell phone log to prove it. My visit would be a treat because I had promised to give her a break from the bland, healthy food the assisted living home fed her. She was already working on a mental list of foods she couldn’t wait to eat including double cheeseburgers (despite her telling the house she was a vegetarian), Dunkin’ Donuts, submarine sandwiches, cookies, and every processed food under the sun.

I can’t say I blame her. On my first visit, they served watery tuna stuffed in a tomato and a scoop of cottage cheese. I know, I know—they have a budget and the responsibility to serve a healthy, salt-free meal that suits all of the residents’ medical needs. The staff is amazing and my mom loves them.

But here is the thing—if you’re 80 years old and living in an assisted living center, you need to look forward to something. Perhaps you look forward to only a few things each day: eating something good and playing dominos where the prize is a piece of candy. You just might want to emotionally eat. Darn it, you deserve to emotionally eat. You’ve forsaken open, emotional eating your entire life. Bring on the cookies and cupcakes for breakfast. Where are the chips, fried chicken, macaroni cheese, and coleslaw? You want to eat an entire loaf of bread with butter? Go for it. Pizza? Coming right up! Let them eat cake!

As I walked outside to the car to begin my first errand (alright, chore) I was thinking about what I could bring back for Mom’s lunch, but I paused when I spotted the landscaping. Two rusted trikes by a gazebo. Two rusted trikes? Someone has a dark sense of humor. It didn’t help that the drought had caused the flowers and grass to wither. I looked around, but except for a few residents huddled around a patio table in their wheel chairs and smoking cigarettes, I was alone. What was the message? We all get rusty and useless. Seriously?

I want flowers and a shiny BRIGHT RED trike out here! STAT!

I took a picture to prove I wasn’t seeing things and immediately posted it on Facebook, convinced my friends would cringe at the cruel reminder of morbidity. But they didn’t. They offered a different viewpoint:

Despite age, we all have a kid inside of us.

Oh. Turns out I was the person with the dark sense of humor, but still, I began to hatch a plan…

Was it possible?

Should I…

Could I…

Yes, I could!

 

You’re never too old for field trips and milkshakes

I was busting my mom out of the center for a day. That’s right. I was aiding the escape of an 80 year old, albeit reformed and more docile, hooligan. Other than doctor appointments and hospital visits, my mom hadn’t left the center in two years. When I arrived the next morning to pick her up, she was dressed in her ‘cutest’ clothes and waiting in the front room. She was like a little kid, excited to get going.

With the help of my sister, nephew, and a capable staff member, we loaded her in the car. The plan was to take her around Carson City and show her how it had changed. As we waved at the staff member and peeled (slowly) out of the lot, she was giddy. We’d worked it out that she’d never get out of the car until we returned home so all she needed to do was sit back, enjoy herself, and point me in the desired direction.

So where did we go? The usual haunts.

• Every home we ever lived in.
• The west side of town because the ‘west side is the best side.’ ~ Bonnie
• Her parents’ former homes.
• The church she attended off and on most of our lives.
• The Dog House Bar and K-Bar (We joked how we still knew the phone numbers by heart, and yes, my mom’s nickname is K-Bar Bonnie).

And then, after a few more visits and hours…

 

Extra cherries, please

…we pulled up to Sonic Drive-in and dined on hot dogs, tater tots, cheeseburgers, and vanilla milkshakes with whip cream and BRIGHT RED cherries on top.

There are funny stories I can share about the day and eventually will do so, but for now, I can assure you she had plenty of leftovers for dinner and she had no care about eating them in front of her roommates. She was too happy to care.

How did I feel at the end of the day? Happy. Nostalgic. When we were in elementary school, some days my mom would surprise us at lunch by delivering a McDonald’s Happy Meal in place of our routine bagged lunch. Was it healthy? No. Was it fun? Yes. Memorable? Absolutely.

Wishing each of you a day of creating memories and sharing a happy meal with cherries on top with someone you love.

Vitality Stories – Lesson #6:

You’re never too old for field trips, trikes, and milkshakes